Twenty one weeks.

At almost five months I think newborns are precious but I am so glad you are not so young anymore! We love that you are so strong and mobile. You scoot and push and grab. You scratch and kick and flail. Your hands grab hair and skin and find their way into your mouth time and time again. We can set you down and you will entertain yourself, if only for a few minutes. You see something new and your mouth forms a perfect "O" while you pant slightly. You are determined to drink whatever we drink and eat whatever we eat. You do not mind the hum and buzz of power tools and Pop hammers through your naps. You talk to us and use your eyes to communicate too. You are sitting up stronger and will relax in our laps. We push you really high and fast on the swing and you are utterly delighted. You giggle when I bite your feet. 

Every time I open the car door you look at me with lit up eyes. It is the best feeling. You ate so much this week, as all the other weeks, and do best in a calm dark room. You rolled both ways with ease. You bonked your head but only cried for a moment. You napped on the go. You slept well most nights. You wore a sun hat and spent a lot of time naked. You played in the bathtub with toys from my childhood. You read a book from when Pop was little. You still prefer chewing on books to hearing them read but the pages do seem to hold your attention much more than they used to. 

It is high time to introduce more foods to you, as you tend to flip out over the fact that we are eating and you are not. You have chased ice cubes and tasted mashed potatoes. You gnawed on lettuce and kale. I plan to prepare a few different options for you to try. Sweet potatoes with cinnamon. Mushy banana. Curried peas. Roasted bell pepper. Raw fruits blended with breast milk. Runny egg yolks. Fresh hummus. I did not expect you to want foods so soon but it's pretty clear you have your mind set on taking part at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We are anticipating a nice bounty from our garden and are hoping you like tomatoes like we do. The beets and carrots have your name on them as well. We do not plan on following any one approach to feeding you, instead preferring to try it all. I like reading up on methods from the first half of the twentieth century before cereals gained popularity as the "right" way. If any one thing's for sure- you'll let us know what you think.

Your personality is really starting to emerge. You are already stubborn and determined, only held back by your still developing strength. You arms can hold you up in a push up. You can grab your toes and bring the to your mouth. You can bring yourself up on your knees. You can swivel and scoot, quickly too! There are many things to write down and remember about you right now. Your concentrated efforts at everything you do. Your many noises, like the quiet grunts and squeaks while attempting to crawl or the breathless pants accompanying flapping arms of excitement. The way your feet touch together when you lay on your stomach. The gentle rolls. As you lengthen your face changes. Your hair growing in as you spend less and less time on your back. You mimic us, practicing new expressions, observing and absorbing. You use your entire play gym as a teether. 

We are preparing for your first big trip and your first time on an airplane. We think you will be a good traveler and we are only nervous about our very early start time. You love watching crowds of people, so the airport should be right up your alley. You will hopefully nurse some on the plane to avoid painful ears and we will bring your favorite toys. If all else fails we will be armed with the iPad loaded with home videos of the dogs playing and our camera roll playing a slideshow. We can't wait to show you off, hike with you in the woods, and watch as your Uncle graduates. This is the beginning of many more trips, of taking part in celebrations, and meeting new people in new places. It is a special thing for us, to have the chance to travel with you, to see everything through your eyes! I experienced that while visiting Cheekwood with you and your Grandpapa. You slept but also studied your surroundings with a fresh wonder and alertness only babies possess. It is a fabulous thing, one worth pursuing by all. We can travel without leaving the city or take you to other countries- you will be amazed either way. We love you for that, one of your finest qualities. 

Twenty weeks.

I wrote down almost nothing this week except the word FUSSY. You were often your usual sweet self but mostly in glimpses. You kept me worn out and hungry with around the clock feedings and Pop walked miles with you around the house and in restaurants. Four months brings a growth spurt and a sleep regression both of which hit you this past week. Indeed, you seemed to grow overnight and shirts that fit the week before no longer would go over your head. Baby growing pains are so difficult as they can't be explained or remedied- you just know something is up and you are going to let us know about it. As you should. Rest and good long meals are the only way to counteract the massive changes. Mentally as well, you are making leaps and bounds. No longer content to soothe yourself you much prefer someone to get down on your level and talk to you. We do this until you wear yourself out, giving us a chance to get dressed/eat lunch/shower. As you grow we can see your brain working to take things in, storing all this new knowledge for later. You make quick associations, recognizing familiar faces and acting calm in familiar places. We try not to expand your world too suddenly too soon, although with your first plane trip next week will land us smack dab in the middle of a brand new kind of experience. 

You are easily overstimulated right now and yet you want nothing more than to be overstimulated. It is a tricky scenario- too much and you'll melt down, too little and you'll melt down. This constant balancing act is easily derailed but we learn so much from the delicate one step forward two steps back dance we're doing. Busy days are followed by slow ones, lest you become an inconsolable ball of baby tears. For all your fussiness you manage to delight and surprise us all the time. This week you laughed for real. You tried to eat playing cards. We swung you in your swing and you grinned. You said "I love you!" or at least made sounds back at us that seemed to say it. You gnawed on tables, fingers, books, and green onions. You drooled so much. You grabbed toys with ease, passing them from hand to hand. You slowed your roll, thanks in part to gaining what feels like ten pounds. One afternoon you danced the hula while Pat played the ukulele while on a different evening Becca tested out your piano skills. 

It is harder and harder to feed you in an exciting or new environment. You forget that you are so hungry and proceed to look around, wide eyed, only to get frustrated all over again. The world around you is coming into focus and it has proved to be wonderfully overwhelming. When you are so over being inside we go out. A quick trip in the car or time passed in the yard does wonders for your disposition. Of course, too much time out of the house will throw you totally off. You had a nap strike twice wherein you refused to go down until way after lunch time, much to my dismay. Your bedtime was anywhere between 7:00 and 10:00 although I feel like we are veering closer to the 8:00 bedtime again. You are still rolling off the bed, though not as frequently. We are still enjoying a relatively dry nighttime streak- though the nights when you pee all over everything compensate for all those other dry ones. We do love our sleep though, and you seem to as well. You go down and wake up with only moderate fussing and in the evening Pop puts you to bed, reciting Goodnight Moon from memory.

You are still wonderfully chubby and your eyes appear hazel ish for now. You don't have much hair yet but it is growing in nicely where you rubbed it away in those early weeks. Your skin is the softest and perfectly pink. You do not have your mama's pale skin. We hope you won't be prone to sunburn either. Your eyelashes are long and dark. Your second toe is longer than the first. You scrunch your nose when something is funny and you have been exploring all the different volumes you can achieve. You are, as always, frustrated by your immobility and we can tell that crawling is just around the corner. You are ridiculously strong, doing full on push ups and standing for long stretches of time. Your heart seems to be on your sleeve. You are quick to cry but even quicker to smile. Everyone comments on your alertness, letting us know that we'll be "in for it later." All I know is we love being in it now.

Nineteen weeks.

This past week was such a blur. You are changing while my back is turned. A four month checkup told us what we already know... you are healthy and strong and growing like a weed. After the doctor you were incredibly talkative, telling Sophia la girafe all about it. You had your first fever (101.2!), and we took it slow during the days afterwards. The day after your shots you started rolling from stomach to back and figured out how to get your foot into your mouth. You let me clip your fingernails with minimal flailing. Your hair is growing in nicely where you rubbed it off with head tossing. You like to hang upside down in my lap and on the bed. You weigh 16.6 lbs and are 26 inches long.

One evening I dipped your toes in a very cold pool... you decided it was not for you at that moment. You saw old friends and lots of family, including a distant baby cousin. You got your picture taken a few times. You are an active sleeper, slowly making your way closer and closer to the edge of the bed. You rolled out of the bed more than once. I usually find you grinning ear to ear in the middle of the bedroom floor. You kick me in your slumber and this morning I woke up confused to find you nursing my elbow hungrily. You often turn in a circle on the floor, propelling yourself with your feet. You went down in the evenings without any fuss. There were a few days and nights of non stop nursing and others when you never stirred and played quietly. You don't seem to mind being shuttled from car seat to carrier and back. You'll settle down to nap wherever, especially if it's somewhere boring. I would have thought you were too young to care but the inside of the toy store held your attention easily... a little too easily. We helped celebrate Vincent's six month birthday and watched him army crawl across the floor with super strength. We ate empanadas with friends and yet again felt thankful for neighbors and sweet babies.

You chew on books and then a green onion with glee. You clutch blankets and cat whiskers or an errant dog tail. Bright sun makes you cranky and you want everything we eat. You smile at us from across the room and you even recognize a few people besides us. A long walk is enjoyed while you giggle and shriek. The television holds your fascination and we try to only turn it on after bedtime. You watch from the Ergo quietly as we water plants and suddenly act bashful when strangers flirt with you. You attempt to catch the water in the shower, holding out your hand under the faucet. You poop all the time and think it is just so funny when you stick your hand in it. I find myself washing your hands all day long. You still touch my face while you eat, usually putting your hand in my mouth or a finger up my nose. You pat the other boob to make sure it's still there for later. 

You were an angel all of Mother's Day weekend. Grandpapa went with us on a walk and to Kien Gang where you tasted mint leaves and a piece of lettuce. You much preferred the mint and also wanted to my cup of mango bubble tea very badly, partly because of the happy fish on the cup. We opened mail from Uncle Walker and I read you his message. Sunday morning we celebrated our moms. I appreciate our mothers that much more now. They are so good to you and to us. I am grateful for your Pop who sneakily had the past twelve months printed up for us in a book to enjoy. Someday I will show you how little you were. You were microscopic at one point! Every day I am so happy that you chose me to be your mother. It is the most fun I have ever had and also the hardest work... a balance that suits us just fine.

 

Eighteen weeks.

You are fourth months old. You feel bigger and more solid in arms, your strength sometimes surprising us. Your laugh is a great breathless squeak and you flap your arms in conjunction with it. You crane your neck to watch one of us across the room and flip onto your belly with ease... getting onto your back still proves difficult though sometimes you do it with very little effort without realizing. Peach fuzz is growing where you rubbed the hair off of the back of your head. Your fingernails grow so fast! Before I know it you've got sharp talons that threaten me at every nursing. Of course you love to touch my face and grab my clothes. You really do astoundingly well in the car, almost always content, often asleep. You have tasted a whole banana with gusto, mushy sweet potato, avocado in both plain and guacamole forms, a lime wedge, salt off of my finger, kalamata olive juice, and a lick of a perfect organic strawberry. You'll hold a bottle with your own two hands although you've only had one twice. You are fascinated by the menagerie of cats and dogs that live with us and sometimes your face gets licked while my back is turned. 

You are still sleeping from about 8:00 to 8:00, although there was a week in the mix where we were all off schedule. You have spent many an hour outside with us. We take long walks with the dog, work in the yard and garden, lay in the grass on blankets next to Tiny V... babies sure love the open air. We found a whole clover in your mouth once. You do not enjoy a fine misting of cool water and the look of shock on your face after a gentle spritzing was painful but cute. You take naps where you play, now an expanded side of the living room underneath the sliding glass doors. You can see the trees and often roll onto your belly and stare at them. 

This week you were watched by Grandma, though you slept the whole time. We paid visits to two different friends where you were sweet and wide eyed. You lounged on a sheepskin rug and showed off your rolling skills. One morning this weekend we woke up and you weren't in the bed! You were in the middle of the bedroom floor grinning gummily at us from six feet away. Goodbye immobility! You notice the screens of a tv or phone more than we would like. Absolutely everything goes in your mouth these days. You blow spit bubbles and can move a toy from hand to hand. You sit like a little gorilla, toppling over eventually. We stand you up by your hands and you bounce and pant with excitement. Pop taught you how to smack your lips and click your tongue. You watch us intently and will stop crying if we smile at you. You have lengthened considerably and also spent the last two weeks eating far more frequently. You are in a near constant state of growth! You were pooping once a week, now it's every day! This seems to keep you in high spirits, as it should.

Strangers always comment on your cheeks, your content nature, and your bare feet. You draw people with an almost magnetic force. I never put socks on you since you overheat so easily... you're that baby wearing just a tee shirt and are often naked to boot. You are by all accounts "easy" and your more complicated traits are a lesson in patience for us. I am sometimes surprised and frustrated by sudden voracious bouts of hunger when you seemingly just ate. You will display sudden shyness towards people when you would otherwise be smiling. You twist and kick so hard that we can't put on your diaper. You will cry at the sound of a throat clearing and an unattended wet diaper almost always gets you wailing. When you wake up you smile hugely at us. You choose to sleep on your stomach now, two faithful fingers safely tucked away in your mouth. You self soothe quite well and during the day I am able to leave you on a blanket for long periods of time without a fuss. We are gearing up for your first plane trip and hotel stay in a few short weeks.

We bid goodbye to some of your babyhood this weekend as we planted a tree over your placenta behind the cabin in which you were born. There's a little baby forest growing back there. We look forward to visiting your tree throughout your life. We thanked it for all its nourishment. We would have liked for you to sprinkle some dirt over it but you just would have eaten it instead. You're growing strong and tall and intensely sweet. I don't mind leaving the newborn stage behind us. The newness was fun but the comfort of experience has won me over. Seeing older babies is a thrill- an interesting preview if you like. We have basked in your tininess but also welcome any and all changes. You just keep doing your thing, we will do our best to keep up.