Three months!

You are the oldest that you have ever been. You smile constantly and we never tire of responding to your facial expressions. We do our best to coax them out at every opportunity. You sleep from 8:00 pm to 8:00 am every night, waking only once or twice to be changed and fed. You are still growing like a weed in these beginnings of spring, though the back of your head remains hairless. You have been a dream when we run errands, quietly wide eyed from your vantage point in the Ergo... or nestled down to sleep, two fingers in your mouth, impressing everyone around us with your laid back nature. You are so strong... you love standing up, holding onto our hands for balance. You sit in our laps easily. Loud noises put you to sleep, especially the blender or vacuum. Playing airplane with Pop always makes you cackle. You rarely cry for real- such a happy baby. The reach and grab has begun. Real interest is springing out of these encounters of bringing everything to your mouth, frustrated when the chosen object doesn't fit into your gaping maw. You are really enjoying the head of Sophie the giraffe, a crinkly triangle, and your O Ball. Sometimes you drop things, I suspect just to watch me pick them up. We read books to you and you seem to regard the pages with some interest- probably only to gauge if they too can fit in your mouth. 

This week was gray and rainy and snowy and weird. I spent a lot of time on the floor with you, talking back and forth in exaggerated vowels. I often eat breakfast standing up at the kitchen counter and had to quickly eat some fallen peanut butter off of your hand before you discovered it for yourself. We were rear ended twice in three days- though you thankfully slept through the second incident. During the days you went with me to Parnassus, Goodwill, the library, the post office, and the grocery store twice. One evening your Pop and I went alone to see The Grand Budapest Hotel, giddily eating chocolate and drinking beer while you slept at Mimi's. I went solo to the Asian supermarket (where they have baby's first chopsticks!), and to mail a last minute package one afternoon, then to Mimi's late night reading. We had Indian food another night and you snored away in your car seat the entire time. Of course, as we are all on the same unspoken wavelength, our housemates walked in to eat fifteen minutes after us. Restaurants must be a comforting place for you, seeing as you spent almost your entire life in utero at the stove, cutting board, or dish pit. You always tend to quiet down in their atmosphere, especially if we are seated near the kitchen. 

One evening at home you were so fascinated by a certain stuffed otter that you stayed up a whole fifteen minutes past your bedtime. Later in the week your Pop went on a Rat Ride- you were fast asleep by the time he left. You have been cooing and gooing, screeching, testing out your volume capabilities. You wake up with a lot to say and we wonder constantly what babies dream about as they grow- boobs probably. Your tiny hands and feet are opening and closing, monkey toes that grab my clothing. Your fists always find hair to grab, usually at that very painful location right at the nape of one's neck. You are very soft but growing more solid and we love to smother your form in kisses, always sweet, though on one occasion you burped in my mouth! You twist and torque on the changing table, almost grabbing your own feet. You know now to arch your back in anticipation of being picked up. You sleep with a furrowed brow. The cascade of drool increases more and more by the day. 

Three months in we have learned so much about you, about what works and what doesn't. You never liked being swaddled. Babywearing was not easy from the get go but I can't imagine getting anything done without the Ergo these days. Strollers can be life savers for the long haul. I am endlessly glad that we use cloth diapers. We save untold amounts of time and money by avoiding disposables. The same goes for reusable wipes- I love knowing that no harsh chemicals are coming anywhere near your perfect baby bottom. Breastfeeding is free and endlessly portable, no cover required. My milk is nutritionally custom made for you and is always the perfect temperature. Family bed has taught you that nighttime is for sleeping- you put yourself to sleep just about every night. On your second night of life we attempted to put you in a bassinet next to the bed... after about two minutes you started crying. Into our bed you went! We haven't looked back and I never have to get up to feed you- mastering horizontal breast feeding is perhaps one of the greatest skills you can learn as a new mother. Baths are a goal for baby but not yet a necessity- showers for Mom and Pop however, are crucial for mental well-being.  

We are all gaining more independence and confidence in each other. I think a lot about parenting on the same terms as starting a new job. A job that provides no training, has no prerequisites, a job where our shifts started December 30th at 2:31 pm. A job where you definitely want to do your best, seeing as there are lives at stake. So far, the payoff is fantastic. We sleep well, everyone is healthy and growing, and your crystal clear purity keeps us energized and high. We are always learning how to take things slowly, how to live on your schedule- we favor routine and you respond well to our repetitive natures. We love showing off the world to you and in turn showing you off to the world. 

Twelve weeks.

We have made it to the end of the fourth trimester. We bid goodbye to our squishy newborn this week and said hello to the bright and wonderful baby girl that we have been lucky enough to introduce to the Earth! It is incredibly bittersweet- at times your birth feels both far away and yet incredibly close. Now that you are a babbling, wiggling, calm and content infant I feel more and more accepting of a new season for us. With the spring equinox we shed winter and in turn we shed this milky time of nesting. We are welcoming all that is ahead of us with open arms. Mornings no longer feel like falling down a well when your Pop heads to work on his bike. We have things to do and people to see! And we trust each other, something that is fundamentally different from day one. It's easy to forget that you start out as strangers when you bring home a little one- even if you are family. You now know us and we are still learning you. And when you smile from ear to ear we even entertain the notion of love.

Your eleventh week brought us very busy days and very sleepy nights- one night you were out cold at 7:00 pm! We enjoyed Mexican food with our dear friends and sweet baby Neve where we took over an entire eight top and proceeded to be "those parents" who stay until closing and turn the table into a glorified living room. Your Grandpapa even made a surprise appearance, joining us for margaritas and baby admiring. We shared lunch with your Pop and showed you off to his coworkers who never tire (so far) of visiting with you. We shared a meal with our housemates and baby friend Vincent... delicious vegan lasagna and too much conversation revolving around baby poop. 

 

I had to mail off packages this week and we ran our first errands solo- you were happy and alert in the Ergo, a fact that many people love to point out to me. We took a long walk on the Greenway with the dog. I nursed you on the go, after you woke up from a two hour nap, about a quarter mile from the car. We hung out at Mimi's one morning and looked at my baby pictures... you are my Mini Me! We then took the stroller and two dogs on a leisurely neighborhood walk which you seemed to enjoy immensely. You are so content to observe the world and take it all in with a wide eyed alertness. 

We rearranged the living room with you in my mind, carving out a space for the playmat and all the toys that you can't quite play with yet. This change in feng shui really felt like the welcoming of spring with the clearing of clutter and opening windows for fresh air. You had your first trip to Bobbie's Dairy Dip with the housemates- we all chowed down on black bean burgers and milkshakes while the two babies chilled in your car seats on top of the picnic table. Afterwards we bought you a twelve week birthday present... an "O Ball" which you sampled downstairs at Vincent's playmat and seemed to potentially enjoy. 

We ushered in the weekend with implementation of your new swing, a gift from the Grand S.O.B., and a visit with Grandaddy who brought some heirlooms for you to enjoy. One evening we walked from Grandpapa's and enjoyed dinner with Mimi too- everyone took turns holding you and several tables left with the (correct) assumption that you are the best baby ever. We swung by a friend's house after dinner - you slept in the car while we visited around a bonfire. To top off your busiest week yet we went to see Grandma and Grandad dancing at the Playford Ball... you were danced with twice! Your pop wore you in the Ergo and we all waltzed away. We think you really enjoyed the music and all the movement, something we hope to explore more with you as you grow. 

In twelve short weeks we have learned how to change a diaper in the dark... how to get you to fart!.. what you sound like when you're hungry, tired, overstimulated, wet, bored, mad, sad, hurt... how to hold a (very interesting) conversation with you... that babies are a excellent indicator of who your friends are... that you like to be part of the action almost always... that baby spit tastes like, well, baby spit... that milk drunk is the sweetest and funniest dang thing we've ever seen... that babies are incredibly portable... that a well timed bath can be a solution for everyone... that grandparents will always want to hold you!.. that every poop is a cause for celebration (and often another bath!)... that you don't need half the stuff people tell you about but that flexibility is the best asset we can have... that we have no idea what we did with ourselves before you.

Eleven weeks.

Life with you, not-so-little Roberta, is anything but boring. This week you kept me guessing and exhausted with quite a few napless days and most certainly some fussy moods. You decided you had no interest in eating almost every afternoon. You only pooped twice all week. You cried real tears when I dared to clear my throat while you were dozing off in my lap. Of course, the positive moments far outweigh the fleeting difficulties with which we're working. We kept you occupied thanks to warmer weather and your first play gym. You rolled over from your stomach to your back! Oh, and your bare bottom experienced sunshine for the first time, though certainly not the last.  

Early in the week we visited my alma mater where you charmed the pants off of a variety of teachers. You are the ultimate ice breaker! There was definitely a lack of comfy seating available, something that was apparent to me only while searching for a quiet corner in which to feed you. There were also no changing tables on the premises, probably a good thing given that we were on a high school campus. I changed you on a classroom floor and fed you on the piano bench in the art building. Everyone asked me to bring you back again to visit.

We enjoyed several outings again with our downstairs neighbors... to a Mexican restaurant where both you and your baby boyfriend were sweet and quiet and beyond well behaved, and to a grassy spot under a tree in Centennial Park. We found shade near the train and plane, lounging on blankets. You both slept the first hour we were there and then woke up somewhat confused to be surrounded by screaming children and older folks practicing their tai chi. We love when one of you notices the other. Soon you'll really take notice, and hopefully become fast friends. We had a visit from Grandma, who came over after work one evening. You showed off some gummy grins and your excellent head and neck control. Another day Mimi watched you and helped me so that I could cook a meal for a family in need of some nourishment. She coaxed out some truly excellent noises, often while you were on your tummy. Shrieks of glee, happiness at a new challenge. Frustration when things don't go your way. quiet coos when you are ultimately satisfied.

We've been getting out more and more with the new stroller. You quietly observe from your seat there, soothed by rolling over rough terrain. We made it to the greenway on a grey afternoon, stopping to play fetch with the puppy in a field. We enjoyed a balmy evening walk to dinner with Grandpapa, who pushed you home. Pretty much everywhere we go someone marvels at your contentedness- you definitely put the eight month old in the restaurant to shame. The communal table we were sitting at was tickled when they noticed that a baby was at its head. You most enjoy sitting in our laps, falling asleep if the mood suits. You breastfed outside the scoop shop and we received a very kind compliment from a fellow mama in doing so- it's so nice when something beautiful is affirmed as such. You eat whenever you're hungry and we're both the better for it. After a delicious meal, you were more than happy to pass out in your Grandpapa's lap. There's nothing better than that!

This week you showed us so many new sides of yourself. Your moods are becoming more pronounced, even as their cause sometimes remains a mystery. We will never tire of so many smiles. I mimic your face and its very expressive frowns. There was lots of rattling rattles. Some noticing of that baby in the mirror. Unexpectedly making noises we've never heard before. You're more flexible too, much less rigid as you unclench fingers and toes. I ditched the Boppy this week- you're big enough that you can sit in my lap to eat, my arm cradling you. It is very relaxed and very satisfying. You regard Sophie the giraffe with some wide eyed suspicion but then try to put her whole head in your mouth. You're becoming awfully drooly and soothe yourself to sleep with your two middle fingers (heavy metal baby). We're still so very grateful that you are such a fantastic sleeper. We try not to brag too much, but you make it slightly difficult. We are oh so proud of you already.

Ten weeks.

Well, your ninth week was filled to the brim with new experiences and lots of interaction with friends and family. Spring is almost here and we're getting outside more and more. You are smiling all the time now and judging from all the noises you make, you are clearly on the verge of real laughter. You recognize us easily and your eyes follow us across the room. You suck on two fingers until you fall asleep- you're still averaging eight hours a night. You are often frustrated with your inability to move yourself how you'd like. You would run if you could! You hold your head up so high when we lift you up. Your hair looks even redder lately, especially in the sunlight. You don't like being in a cradle hold, unless you're being fed- you would always rather face the action head on, sitting up. 

We started the week with a long dinner with our good friends whom we met in birthing class. Their sweet baby girl is five weeks old. I love seeing the two of you together- we can't wait to see your relationship play out. On this visit you seemed to notice each other a little more than usual. I always wonder what that must feel like- seeing another baby when you are a baby. We love sharing you with everyone who has loved you since before you were even born.

You had your two month check up with the pediatrician. You weighed 14 lbs 10 oz- up a full pound since our trip to the Farm! You were 24 inches long. He proclaimed you fantastic. You had your first round of shots. I cried as much as you did. I was concerned when, several hours after the fact, you started crying and didn't stop. You nursed pretty easily though, and wound yourself down. The next morning you seemed better than ever- actually, you had maybe your biggest ever poop. Five diapers, one pair of leggings, the lid to the wipes, and the changing pad cover all had to be washed promptly afterwards. I laid you on the bed and you fell asleep almost instantly, one fist raised triumphantly. You're prolific!

Your Pop celebrated his birthday- you helped me bake a chocolate covered cherry cake from the wrap. We had friends over with snacks and pizza and beer. There was music and a bonfire. We turned Facetime into a video baby monitor- a modern parenting innovation- which allowed us both to enjoy the party outside while you slept inside. You were most certainly the life of the party, smiling and flirting for the small crowd that gathered around you. You won over many admirers and met a few of our friends for the first time. Later in the week I went to a Mama's night out and enjoyed lots of snacks and conversation. Your Pop was happy to have some one on one time with you, but of course, you slept. All the other moms brought their babies- I'll have to bring you next time and show off your cheeks. Your Uncle Walker flew into town to play a show with his band. We went to an outdoor show, your first musical event. You stayed awake long enough to greet your Uncle for the second time and then fell asleep. You didn't seem to mind the crowd or the music. We had a family dinner before his show and you showed off a few of your big smiles and even said "Hi." Your Grandpapa "Birdie watched" for us while we went to the show. Lucky him, you slept the whole time we were gone. 

This weekend you took your first bottle. I doubt we'll try it again anytime soon. I was mostly curious and had also already expressed the milk. It was very interesting to be able to see you eat from a different angle. You kept looking at me, confused as to how your Pop could be holding you and I could be over there while you ate. You ate 3 oz. in about ten minutes but didn't seem very satisfied with the experience. Later you had your first bath in the kitchen sink. You cooed and hardly fit in it. Afterwards we wrapped you up in a huge fluffy white towel.

We had brunch with the downstairs neighbors and took a walk on the greenway- your first time in a stroller. It wore you out for sure, especially after a nice long meal on a bench in the sunlight. It feels good to be social and to introduce you to the world. And oh what a big world it is! With warmer weather will come playing in water, laying in the grass, long hikes, rides on bikes, afternoon naps, shorter sleeves, and bigger hats. The fun is honestly just beginning.

Nine weeks.

Well, you are two months old in the blink of an eye. We are hugely in love with you. This, your eighth week, brought both deep slumbers and napless days. You seem bored with the world horizontal and I do my best to carry you and reveal new sights and sounds every day. You're over the mobile that had you enthralled last week. You've been sucking your tiny fist nonstop, sometimes preferring it over nursing... I'm hoping this habit does not persist! Your hearing test was on Monday and you passed with flying colors. It was stressful for both of us I think- they request that you bring in your baby "hungry and sleepy" meaning I had to keep you awake and resist feeding you for the two hours prior to our appointment. Once we were in the dim soundproofed room and you had unfettered access to the tap thing calmed down quickly enough. The doctor stuck nodes and sensors to you along with some fancy headphones and you did indeed fall asleep. Afterwards we visited Pop at work and enjoyed the sunshine for a few minutes. 

Your Uncle Walker sent a very well received Valentine's parcel containing wonderful soaps for your mama and a new wondersuit for you! It fits you perfectly so you've been wearing it a lot. You were so worn out by our busy beginning to the week that the next day you crashed hard- you slept the entire day, waking only to eat and potty. We made seven catches in the potty that day, a new record. In the middle of the week you and I met friends for breakfast and a brief walk- it was incredibly cold and windy, if not bright. One warmish day you napped in your basket on the front porch while I finished a painting project- we can't wait for long afternoons spent out in the springtime.

Your new thing is mind boggling blowout diapers- one of which resulted in an impromptu bath at your Grandpapa's... thankfully your Pop took the hit when you decided you weren't quite done mid-change. You were babysat twice this week by both Mimi and Grandma while errands were ran. You certainly enjoy the extra attention while we enjoy two free hands with which to grocery shop. 

You are still sleeping well but certainly showed a crankier side this week that we hadn't seen much of until now. We do our best to soothe you but sometimes part of being alive is feeling grumpy and we let you know that's okay too. We like that you have different moods than hungry or sleepy! You've really started to come into your own with a multitude of facial expressions and lots more noise. We can tell that you find things funny enough to laugh but you don't quite know how to make the proper sound to communicate your amusement. We're going to work on this.

This week is your two month checkup with the pediatrician, something I simultaneously dread and look forward to. We'll be discussing the first round of shots. I struggle with the thought of deviating from your purest form but I also struggle with the thought of any potential sickness or suffering. It has not been easy or particularly enjoyable, tossing around the pros and cons. There's enough misinformation and anecdotes out there to convince anyone to make any number of decisions. I take comfort in doing the research, in caring for her, knowing we'll always do the very best we possibly can. This is only the beginning of so many judgment calls on our part... ones that will bring with them a huge range of emotions that may cloud our judgment. We must strive to tread confidently, gratefully, and mindfully. If we do this, then our gut won't lead us astray.

Thank you, wee Roberta, for trusting us with this task. Watching your personality unfurl has been a most unique and paramount privilege, one that has me pinching myself every morning. It is so very nice to know you.