Five weeks.

Five weeks of baby girl and the fog has mostly lifted. 

You are wearing your three month onesies already. Your eyes recognize our faces and perhaps you count on us more assuredly to keep you warm, dry, and fed. We celebrated your one month birthday with dinner, champagne, and friends, including downstairs neighbor baby Vincent. You, of course, remained mostly unaware of any celebration and enjoyed your own dinner, falling asleep promptly afterwards. 

In the early mornings we listen to the radio and lay in the sun. I find time to cook good meals while you sleep. Too much television gets watched as you nurse like the hungry growing baby you are proving to be. Your first and second baths happened... so bittersweet as we washed away your new babyness. Wide eyed, you certainly seemed to enjoy the sensation of water with lavender and olive oil- we knew you had relaxed seeing that you peed and pooped in the tub! Floating- your favorite part... perhaps bringing back sensations from existing in more watery environs a mere five weeks prior. You grew quiet and still, chirping occasionally, as you do.

I've been able to take a few trips on my own into the big world out there without baby. It is interestingly painful, leaving a part of you elsewhere for a short while. Although it felt oddly exhilarating to make the trip to the grocery alone, I breathed more easily upon returning home even though she was in excellent hands with her pop. We aren't ready for any separation of motherbaby and I feel ever grateful knowing there's no rush to speed up this new normal. Having Birdie in-arms, constantly responding to her, feels like the most sacred, essential, and ancient task. Later we will rely on sounds, eye contact, words. Right now, learning her through the never ending flow of touch is all we need.