summer so far.

Six months and seven months have flown by and eight months is on its way. For someone who is cutting four teeth at once you are remarkably sweet most of the time. Soon enough you'll have six (!) teeth total and will maybe even start napping again. After a few months of commando crawling towards all your favorite toys you discovered the kitchen step, quickly followed by real deal crawling on all fours. You can cover quite some ground in a few seconds and are adept at screaming your way into our arms if we try to leave you in the playpen. You spend a lot of time on my back and will occasionally even fall asleep back there, snug under the sun shade. 

A few days ago you figured out how to stand up, pulling yourself up against the mattress, then the couch, then your crib, and pretty much anything else. You are typically pleased with yourself and frequently look to see if we're watching you. You take little side steps sometimes but mostly just sway and bounce til your legs give out and you fall on your butt. We love it. You say "mama" pretty regularly, sometimes adding in some extra "mas"for impact. You use two fingers to find things on the floor you should not eat. Especially dog hair and blades of grass. You now eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in addition to still frequent nursing. You've tried many different foods now and I make a new batch of purees every few weeks. You tolerate being spoon fed and tend to enjoy it more when we eat too. You chomp happily on wedges of peach, banana segments, green beans, and anything else we hand you. Sipping water out of your silver cup and is probably the only activity which you do patiently these days. 

You don't especially seem to care for water but perhaps prefer the shower over a bath. Completely enamored of all things dog or cat, you drop everything when a pet enters the room. You eat books and tear paper. You laugh at peekaboo and babble in the car. We have taken many long walks in the morning with dogs and sunhats in tow. There has been swimming some evenings and lots of homemade pizza. Afternoons are spent indoors when the temperature soars above 90 and you enjoy getting sprayed down with hose on the porch outside when we get stir crazy. There has been more baby paint experiences and crawling in the grass. You've spent a few evenings without us as we've even gone on a date or two. You go to bed in your crib and usually wind up next to me in the early hours. There were a few colds this summer. You had a fever for a week straight while these top teeth cut through. You fall asleep more easily when we sing to you.

We have less time for writing, picture taking, and general oohing and aahing. You require more attention, more interaction, more play. You get bored more easily. Strong and determined, you would rather crawl to new places than play sitting still. I give you things that aren't toys and you tend to enjoy them more than something designed for babies. You have a small saucepan and a wooden spoon that get a lot of face time. I like watching the way you use your hands and call you monkey because of it. You respond to familiar faces with big grins and giggles. Sometimes you are remarkably solemn and I wonder what you are working out in your brain. It's been a real trip, watching your mind develop.

Twenty four weeks.

A simple snotty cold combined with two fresh bottom teeth erupting made for one unhappy babe during the first half of your twenty fourth week. You cried when I set you down. You only napped for twenty minutes at a time. You really started to hate it when we wiped the boogers off of your face. You woke up to nurse every two hours. You were bored to boot and I wore myself out attempting to keep up with your constantly changing moods. The second half was much better, once you could breathe through your nose and the teeth were no longer working their way through your gums. Honestly though, this week was a blur for me and I did not write down a single note- no nap times, no nothing. I do remember much of it, though I'm guessing I blocked out the very worst parts.

You sit up in your high chair now and at breakfast I give you half a banana or a quarter of an avocado. I keep the peels on since it makes it easier for you to grip. While I eat my toast you proceed to smoosh your breakfast, smearing all over yourself, the chair, and the dog. About half of whatever I give you ends up in your mouth. You love this interaction though and are so happy to eat alongside me. Sometimes we give you another nibble at dinner time. We have mostly given up on spoons, instead preferring to let you figure things out for yourself with the real deal. This means I almost never have to cook or puree anything and you get the fun learning hand to mouth experience. Sometimes you wear a bib but mostly I just put you in the chair with just a diaper on, rinsing you off afterwards in the kitchen sink. You like to grab the water as it comes out of the faucet. One sunny afternoon you and your baby boyfriend crawled through every color of tempera paint, making art on torn out book pages and letting your mom make a print of your butt. Afterwards we rinsed you both off in the kiddie pool and you proceeded to eat and then take a two hour nap. Water and sunshine make for a very tired baby.

We bought a bonafide baby jail, a wooden playpen currently occupying a corner of the living room. You scoot and crawl so quickly now that I felt nervous just leaving you on the floor unsupervised for any length of times. And sometimes I need to shower. You hated it initially, wailing as soon as you realized you were surrounded by obstacles. Now though, you are content to stay in it for ten minutes here, twenty minutes there. In one corner of it I put a soft basket that holds your latest favorite things to chew on. You love to upturn the whole basket and attend to each toy, dutifully chewing on each item and pushing them from corner to corner. We have also purchased a crib, which is in transit as we speak. Partially because of your tendency to fall out of the bed, no matter how many pillows are supposedly barricading the edges. Partially because you are masterful at becoming the midnight crossbar in a familial "H" kicking your mother and punching your father simultaneously. And partially just to see what happens. We anticipate that you will spend 60% of your sleeping time in it. The hours between 8:00 and 12:00 are a given. I am hoping you will nap there as well, if only for my peace of mind. I am weary of finding you in the middle of the bedroom floor.

You grew stronger this week. One day you could not sit, the next you could. You are wobbly still but will sit unsupported, or in a high chair, or up against the couch. You are easy to carry, as you are pulling some of your own weight now. Your legs dangle out of the swing and the stroller. You fill spaces you didn't used to. You roll like a log as you settle down to sleep. I used to nurse you to sleep every evening and every nap. Now you eat for a minute or two and then roll over and put your favorite two fingers in your mouth. This is the cue to leave you to it. Sometimes I get up and do things around the bedroom... folding clothes, organizing the closet. You like knowing one of us is nearby. There is one rule, however: Do not make eye contact. If you do, the whole operation has to start over. If we decide to check on you mid nap, it is best done from around the corner. One glimpse of your belly moving up and down and then run away! If you were to roll over and glimpse us around the doorway you would either smile or cry but you would definitely be done with sleep.

We celebrated. Two years of marriage and our first Father's Day. Grandpapa babysat while we treated ourselves to artisanal whiskey drinks and brick oven pizza. We came home to a sleeping baby, cold champagne, and late night card games. Father's Day morning you and I went to the grocery while Pop slept in. We picked up flowers and bacon for breakfast and wrapped up a photo book for him to enjoy. Later we brought dinner to your Grandpapa's complete with a recreated photo of myself at five months old. Everyone tells us that it all goes by so quickly. I hadn't felt like this was true for us yet until I combed through pictures from your first days of life. It doesn't seem real, that you were ever so young. Almost six months have gone by very quickly. I find myself missing certain behaviors that you dropped long ago. You never fall asleep on our chests or while nursing. We no longer applaud every single poopy diaper. You are not always soft or gentle, trading in those baby traits for strength and stubbornness, plus sharp teeth. But the nostalgia is fleeting- what you're doing these days is so much more exciting. You recognize us, and dare I say, you like us! You are decisive in your movements, fixing your eyes on the prize and moving with great gusto. You are gorgeous and I love nothing more than seeing your eyes alight on something totally new and unique to you, something never before seen. You smile every day when Pop walks in the door and you let out cackles from the swing in the yard. You really seem to enjoy yourself and all of us are enjoying you.

Twenty two and Twenty three weeks.

It's always incredible, how much you change in the span of two weeks. Your twenty second week was an all-hands-on-deck multi tasking extravaganza, leading up to our big departure to the great state of Vermont. In the days before our trip you worked your usual charms. You ate sweet potatoes with much enthusiasm, you accompanied me on many an errand, you fell asleep at 7:00 more than once- exhausted from the days' missions accomplished. 

We made a very early flight, gently transferring you from bed to car seat long before sunrise. You stayed in the Ergo through the security checkpoints and boarded our first flight with wide eyed trepidation. You cried and fussed during takeoff, refusing to nurse and displeased entirely with your current situation. We occupied you with everything in our arsenal to little avail. Sophie had been forgotten at home and it is indeed hard to sleep sitting up, rendering you a very unhappy baby indeed. You dozed off just in time for us to land in Washington D.C. The flight may have been bumpy but we felt back on track as we boarded a shuttle at 8:30- your usual get up and go time. The second flight proved much easier and rendered you an angel in our eyes. You ate some, played plenty, and we discovered all that is a plastic cup- a magical object that kept you occupied for the next four days. After strapping you into a rental car we made our way to an authentic diner outside of Albany where you dozed under a blanket and your parents drank chocolate milk shakes. 

We all crashed hard after arriving at the motel. A family nap commenced in the king sized bed until the late afternoon. Coffee was procured and we made our way to the college. I put you in all the layers I could as it was fast approaching 40 degrees. At the campus I strapped you back into the Ergo and we walked in the dusk towards a renovated barn where a dear friend would perform his final piano recital. It was wonderful. In the darkness you dozed, rousing after every round of applause, but never making a peep. Post performance you met numerous friends and professors and received many compliments on your well behaved demeanor and complete human qualities. We beamed and enjoyed your magnetic capabilities as many a stranger felt compelled to come up and squeeze your foot. The evening ended with a meal at a local tavern, with the dining room all to ourselves. You ate and slept in the car seat and even though it was way past your bedtime you were hugged and squeezed by all. 

On our first full day in Bennington you woke up in the best mood. You ate well, hungry after an exhausting day of travel and new faces. You napped here and there as we made our way to all the local sights. We visited the top of the Monument and cruised by a haunted inn. You ate under a tree outside Robert Frost's house and rode around on Pop's back inside the museum. We all unloaded for a motel nap followed by tea at a professor's house (she had specifically requested we "bring the baby"). A two person diaper change in the trunk of the rental car was followed by a late dinner. For the entirety of the trip we used disposable diapers- a nice change thanks to their slimming silhouette and ease of disposal. At dinner you slept in the Ergo with a napkin on your head.

And then you were five months old! We ate a big diner breakfast where you charmed all the waitresses. This was the day you figured out the beginnings of a crawl, making moves on the ever amazing plastic cup. You almost appear to be doing a butterfly stroke on land (or on bedspread) bringing your hands together in a joint effort that propels you forward. You napped in the car while we popped into a health food store and slept again back at the motel. We tried throughout the trip to give you the time you needed to rest. Dropping everything so that you can nap to the fullest usually ensures a good evening and a happy baby. We made our way (in one of your cutest outfits) to the Commencement dinner at the college where you gnawed on your Uncle's finger and we walked laps with you during the speeches. You attracted lots of attention and received many more compliments on your evident sweetness. It was nice knowing that although you may not remember this trip, the natural beauty of Vermont has nevertheless made its impact on your person. We wound down the evening in front of a roaring Common Room fire with pilfered wine. We kept you out fifteen minutes too long however, as we rushed out to the car without goodbyes while you wailed in protest of not being in bed. Not our shiniest moment.

Finally the big day arrived. We dressed you in a vintage dress adorned with gingham and embroidered kittens. We made our way to the college and followed the crowds towards the big tent where the low key ceremony was peppered with wonderful speeches and applause after every student's name was called. We jumped and clapped for your Uncle's friends and when the list reached the "M"s you were high on Pop's shoulders, stunned by all the clapping. We all was said and done we took pictures on the lawn and you fell asleep quickly. Our evening was rounded off with a delicious meal with friends and family where you put up a bit of a fuss but wound down in the car seat while Pop rocked you. We covered you up parakeet style and you slept through the entrees and dessert. 

In the hours before heading to the airport we packed up the room and practiced more crawling. Coffee was drunk and at the college you napped in the shade of a tree outside the dorms. Everyone helped in getting your Uncle's 1981 Volkswagen Rabbit packed to the gills and when you woke up we took you out into the big open field and tossed you in the air. You wore your sunhat with flair and goodbyes were said as we piled into the three car caravan and made our way back to the airport in New York. The Ergo once again made travelling a breeze as we went through security and up to the gate. The following two flights were, shall we say, difficult. Thankfully your worst behavior isn't really that bad and stressful as it might have been on us you still did pretty well considering the circumstances. Driving with you is easier though.

The beginning of your twenty third week was an easy day. You ate well and took nice long naps, going down with nary a fuss. You were in a sweet calm mood and played on your own for thirty minutes at a time. It was almost worth the exhaustion of travelling just to have a perfect Monday with you, even if the plumbing disaster of the year (decade?) was going on simultaneously. I went and got a much needed massage the following evening while you hung out with Grandma and Pop. You got hungry and wailed a bit but made a quick rebound upon my return. As we went to bed that night you sounded a little sniffly. By the next day, in the midst of your Grandma's retirement luncheon, I could tell you were sick with a fever. Your nose was running and you didn't care to eat. Everyone complimented you on your good behavior but I could tell you were just calm because you were feeling too bad to do much at all. Once home I put you straight in bed and took your temperature- 101! You stayed in bed the rest of the day, miserable, and not too keen on eating. I feel as though I have been waiting with bated breath your entire infancy for the moment when you would get sick- the sense of relief I felt now that it's happened has been surprising. Of course the airport would be the place to bring home a little virus. And you would get me sick too, given your favorite pastime of putting your hands in my mouth. 

You spent a lot of time in bed and we did take a quick trip to the pediatrician to rule out pneumonia or the measles. We didn't get the best sleep but you have bounced back very quickly. A testament to your strong nature and the power of breast milk. These days you are happy to sit in your high chair and throw things on the floor while I cook. You tasted blueberry, cherry, peach, lemon, more sweet potatoes, a cherry tomato fresh from the garden, and carrot stick again. Your first tooth has started to break through, noticed by your Uncle as you chomped down on his finger. You felt rain drops and dog tails. You crawled ten feet while my back was turned. You had your first bug bites and not enough baths. You laugh when we pretend to eat you up. We read you books from memory and regularly rearrange the living room in your favor. 

After the blur of travel and sickness we feel drawn towards restful mornings and afternoons outside. Time spent crawling and sitting, moving and shaking. Books read aloud and no swing left unswung. Tasty morsels and lazy hours milk drunk. You are sweet and silly, head strong and physical. You've always been keen to move and we're keen on keeping up. We sure like where you're headed these days. 

Twenty one weeks.

At almost five months I think newborns are precious but I am so glad you are not so young anymore! We love that you are so strong and mobile. You scoot and push and grab. You scratch and kick and flail. Your hands grab hair and skin and find their way into your mouth time and time again. We can set you down and you will entertain yourself, if only for a few minutes. You see something new and your mouth forms a perfect "O" while you pant slightly. You are determined to drink whatever we drink and eat whatever we eat. You do not mind the hum and buzz of power tools and Pop hammers through your naps. You talk to us and use your eyes to communicate too. You are sitting up stronger and will relax in our laps. We push you really high and fast on the swing and you are utterly delighted. You giggle when I bite your feet. 

Every time I open the car door you look at me with lit up eyes. It is the best feeling. You ate so much this week, as all the other weeks, and do best in a calm dark room. You rolled both ways with ease. You bonked your head but only cried for a moment. You napped on the go. You slept well most nights. You wore a sun hat and spent a lot of time naked. You played in the bathtub with toys from my childhood. You read a book from when Pop was little. You still prefer chewing on books to hearing them read but the pages do seem to hold your attention much more than they used to. 

It is high time to introduce more foods to you, as you tend to flip out over the fact that we are eating and you are not. You have chased ice cubes and tasted mashed potatoes. You gnawed on lettuce and kale. I plan to prepare a few different options for you to try. Sweet potatoes with cinnamon. Mushy banana. Curried peas. Roasted bell pepper. Raw fruits blended with breast milk. Runny egg yolks. Fresh hummus. I did not expect you to want foods so soon but it's pretty clear you have your mind set on taking part at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. We are anticipating a nice bounty from our garden and are hoping you like tomatoes like we do. The beets and carrots have your name on them as well. We do not plan on following any one approach to feeding you, instead preferring to try it all. I like reading up on methods from the first half of the twentieth century before cereals gained popularity as the "right" way. If any one thing's for sure- you'll let us know what you think.

Your personality is really starting to emerge. You are already stubborn and determined, only held back by your still developing strength. You arms can hold you up in a push up. You can grab your toes and bring the to your mouth. You can bring yourself up on your knees. You can swivel and scoot, quickly too! There are many things to write down and remember about you right now. Your concentrated efforts at everything you do. Your many noises, like the quiet grunts and squeaks while attempting to crawl or the breathless pants accompanying flapping arms of excitement. The way your feet touch together when you lay on your stomach. The gentle rolls. As you lengthen your face changes. Your hair growing in as you spend less and less time on your back. You mimic us, practicing new expressions, observing and absorbing. You use your entire play gym as a teether. 

We are preparing for your first big trip and your first time on an airplane. We think you will be a good traveler and we are only nervous about our very early start time. You love watching crowds of people, so the airport should be right up your alley. You will hopefully nurse some on the plane to avoid painful ears and we will bring your favorite toys. If all else fails we will be armed with the iPad loaded with home videos of the dogs playing and our camera roll playing a slideshow. We can't wait to show you off, hike with you in the woods, and watch as your Uncle graduates. This is the beginning of many more trips, of taking part in celebrations, and meeting new people in new places. It is a special thing for us, to have the chance to travel with you, to see everything through your eyes! I experienced that while visiting Cheekwood with you and your Grandpapa. You slept but also studied your surroundings with a fresh wonder and alertness only babies possess. It is a fabulous thing, one worth pursuing by all. We can travel without leaving the city or take you to other countries- you will be amazed either way. We love you for that, one of your finest qualities. 

Twenty weeks.

I wrote down almost nothing this week except the word FUSSY. You were often your usual sweet self but mostly in glimpses. You kept me worn out and hungry with around the clock feedings and Pop walked miles with you around the house and in restaurants. Four months brings a growth spurt and a sleep regression both of which hit you this past week. Indeed, you seemed to grow overnight and shirts that fit the week before no longer would go over your head. Baby growing pains are so difficult as they can't be explained or remedied- you just know something is up and you are going to let us know about it. As you should. Rest and good long meals are the only way to counteract the massive changes. Mentally as well, you are making leaps and bounds. No longer content to soothe yourself you much prefer someone to get down on your level and talk to you. We do this until you wear yourself out, giving us a chance to get dressed/eat lunch/shower. As you grow we can see your brain working to take things in, storing all this new knowledge for later. You make quick associations, recognizing familiar faces and acting calm in familiar places. We try not to expand your world too suddenly too soon, although with your first plane trip next week will land us smack dab in the middle of a brand new kind of experience. 

You are easily overstimulated right now and yet you want nothing more than to be overstimulated. It is a tricky scenario- too much and you'll melt down, too little and you'll melt down. This constant balancing act is easily derailed but we learn so much from the delicate one step forward two steps back dance we're doing. Busy days are followed by slow ones, lest you become an inconsolable ball of baby tears. For all your fussiness you manage to delight and surprise us all the time. This week you laughed for real. You tried to eat playing cards. We swung you in your swing and you grinned. You said "I love you!" or at least made sounds back at us that seemed to say it. You gnawed on tables, fingers, books, and green onions. You drooled so much. You grabbed toys with ease, passing them from hand to hand. You slowed your roll, thanks in part to gaining what feels like ten pounds. One afternoon you danced the hula while Pat played the ukulele while on a different evening Becca tested out your piano skills. 

It is harder and harder to feed you in an exciting or new environment. You forget that you are so hungry and proceed to look around, wide eyed, only to get frustrated all over again. The world around you is coming into focus and it has proved to be wonderfully overwhelming. When you are so over being inside we go out. A quick trip in the car or time passed in the yard does wonders for your disposition. Of course, too much time out of the house will throw you totally off. You had a nap strike twice wherein you refused to go down until way after lunch time, much to my dismay. Your bedtime was anywhere between 7:00 and 10:00 although I feel like we are veering closer to the 8:00 bedtime again. You are still rolling off the bed, though not as frequently. We are still enjoying a relatively dry nighttime streak- though the nights when you pee all over everything compensate for all those other dry ones. We do love our sleep though, and you seem to as well. You go down and wake up with only moderate fussing and in the evening Pop puts you to bed, reciting Goodnight Moon from memory.

You are still wonderfully chubby and your eyes appear hazel ish for now. You don't have much hair yet but it is growing in nicely where you rubbed it away in those early weeks. Your skin is the softest and perfectly pink. You do not have your mama's pale skin. We hope you won't be prone to sunburn either. Your eyelashes are long and dark. Your second toe is longer than the first. You scrunch your nose when something is funny and you have been exploring all the different volumes you can achieve. You are, as always, frustrated by your immobility and we can tell that crawling is just around the corner. You are ridiculously strong, doing full on push ups and standing for long stretches of time. Your heart seems to be on your sleeve. You are quick to cry but even quicker to smile. Everyone comments on your alertness, letting us know that we'll be "in for it later." All I know is we love being in it now.

Nineteen weeks.

This past week was such a blur. You are changing while my back is turned. A four month checkup told us what we already know... you are healthy and strong and growing like a weed. After the doctor you were incredibly talkative, telling Sophia la girafe all about it. You had your first fever (101.2!), and we took it slow during the days afterwards. The day after your shots you started rolling from stomach to back and figured out how to get your foot into your mouth. You let me clip your fingernails with minimal flailing. Your hair is growing in nicely where you rubbed it off with head tossing. You like to hang upside down in my lap and on the bed. You weigh 16.6 lbs and are 26 inches long.

One evening I dipped your toes in a very cold pool... you decided it was not for you at that moment. You saw old friends and lots of family, including a distant baby cousin. You got your picture taken a few times. You are an active sleeper, slowly making your way closer and closer to the edge of the bed. You rolled out of the bed more than once. I usually find you grinning ear to ear in the middle of the bedroom floor. You kick me in your slumber and this morning I woke up confused to find you nursing my elbow hungrily. You often turn in a circle on the floor, propelling yourself with your feet. You went down in the evenings without any fuss. There were a few days and nights of non stop nursing and others when you never stirred and played quietly. You don't seem to mind being shuttled from car seat to carrier and back. You'll settle down to nap wherever, especially if it's somewhere boring. I would have thought you were too young to care but the inside of the toy store held your attention easily... a little too easily. We helped celebrate Vincent's six month birthday and watched him army crawl across the floor with super strength. We ate empanadas with friends and yet again felt thankful for neighbors and sweet babies.

You chew on books and then a green onion with glee. You clutch blankets and cat whiskers or an errant dog tail. Bright sun makes you cranky and you want everything we eat. You smile at us from across the room and you even recognize a few people besides us. A long walk is enjoyed while you giggle and shriek. The television holds your fascination and we try to only turn it on after bedtime. You watch from the Ergo quietly as we water plants and suddenly act bashful when strangers flirt with you. You attempt to catch the water in the shower, holding out your hand under the faucet. You poop all the time and think it is just so funny when you stick your hand in it. I find myself washing your hands all day long. You still touch my face while you eat, usually putting your hand in my mouth or a finger up my nose. You pat the other boob to make sure it's still there for later. 

You were an angel all of Mother's Day weekend. Grandpapa went with us on a walk and to Kien Gang where you tasted mint leaves and a piece of lettuce. You much preferred the mint and also wanted to my cup of mango bubble tea very badly, partly because of the happy fish on the cup. We opened mail from Uncle Walker and I read you his message. Sunday morning we celebrated our moms. I appreciate our mothers that much more now. They are so good to you and to us. I am grateful for your Pop who sneakily had the past twelve months printed up for us in a book to enjoy. Someday I will show you how little you were. You were microscopic at one point! Every day I am so happy that you chose me to be your mother. It is the most fun I have ever had and also the hardest work... a balance that suits us just fine.